


I Know Who You Really Are

by LilianaSnow



Category: Set It Off (Band)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Accidental Kissing, Accidental Nicknames, Accidental Relationship, Accidental Voyeurism, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Based on a Dream, Body Dysphoria, Body Worship, Bodyguard, Caretaking, Eventual Smut, Everyone After Zach Is Only A Minor Character, Fall Out Boy References, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied Transgender, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Panic! at the Disco References, Psychology, Sharing Body Heat, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Showers, Smut, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Walking In On Showers, Walking In On Someone, Whipping, on the road
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-29 10:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15071315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilianaSnow/pseuds/LilianaSnow
Summary: I keep remembering a dream I had about rescuing Maxx from a dangerous situation, and then afterwards being asked to care for him during his recovery. He kept calling me Angel, insisted I was perfect and could do no wrong, and that he was in love. I, as a trained psychologist, named this fucking goddamn delirium-induced obsession after a gay ship in Supernatural. I changed the dream to fit Carziger and to give it an ending. Such adaptations include getting rid of SIO, and having the falling in love bit reciprocrated, and having them following a band rather than going on tour.





	I Know Who You Really Are

Maxx couldn't breathe. He couldn't see. He tasted his own blood, sweat, and tears as the crazy woman behind him got her thrills from whipping him. The whip cracked into him and he cried out, voice hoarse. He sobbed and struggled against the bonds.

She abandoned him there, and he could see a flashing light. There was a blond man there at his side, leaning over him and speaking in words Maxx couldn't hear and probably wouldn't have understood anyway.

"Err you'n angel?" he asked, feeling his speech slur as his eyes closed.

* * *

 When Maxx woke up in the hospital, Zach and Dan were sitting nearby with wide eyes.

"Hey... How long have I been out?" He tried to sit up, which made three nurses and a blond that looked familiar all rush in to prevent him from hurting himself.

"Mr. Danziger, no. You can't get up yet." His voice made Maxx's heart skip a beat.

"Who... Who are you?" he asked, green eyes meeting blue.

"My name is Cody Carson." He stepped back. "I'm a doctor, legally speaking, and a bodyguard. The people who took you are still at large and once discharged, you'll need someone nearby to protect you. I have been assigned to your case."

"You were there... With me..."

"I was volunteering the day we brought you to the hospital, yes." He seemed very formal. Maxx kind of liked it, but could sense that this was purely on a buisness front.

"You're an angel." Maxx nodded, sure of it now. "You're my guardian angel."

"If that's what you would like to call me, yes."

Zach and Dan looked at each other. Dan pushed Zach forward and nodded at Maxx.

"Okay, so... Maxx, we can still do the road trip, but you might not want to..." Zach looked at Maxx and waited.

"Oh, we are _going_ on that tour. I would have ripped my way out of the basement to go on tour. We already have the tickets!" Maxx was fierce in his approach.

 _Oh god, he's passionate. WTF Cody, he's your employer! Technically. Either way it's inappropriate._ Cody shook himself out of it.

"Okay. Once you're out of the hospital, I'll follow." Cody stepped out of the room.

* * *

 In the first hotel, Cody and Maxx shared a room. It was the most convenient thing for everyone. Maxx was sore and miserable, spending his time staring out the window. Cody ensured he was eating, and that he was taking medication. He also was in charge of Maxx's physical treatment. Dispite all this, Cody was nervous about sharing a room with anyone.

"Mr. Danziger, it's time to clean your wounds."

Maxx sighed and allowed Cody to lead him in to the bathroom. Cody tried not to get aroused by the way Maxx allowed himself to be stripped down and moved, manipulated, into the shower. It took a look at the mess of wounds on his back, ass, arms, neck, and legs that were held together by stitches and would surely scar. He remembered why he was here.

Cody was soaked as he gently rinsed away the congealed blood and the dirt from the bandages. Maxx gripped the wall to steady himself as Cody gingerly dabbed each of the marks clean, trying hard not to think about it when Cody's hand went between his thighs.

"Okay, let me see your sides and front, Mr. Danziger." Cody didn't want to admit that without that formal name, he would be speeding through this and pinning him down.

Maxx let go of the wall and swiveled so that the marks on his left side faced Cody. The pattern reminded Cody of fire, and he thought of the burning pain Maxx had been in during the time they had met. He thought of the burns he himself had been through.

Cody cleaned him up, not missing the lash that went over his shoulders and met across his chest. The gentleness over the skin made Maxx feel as if this was not a doctor tending to a wound, but a lover washing a fresh tattoo. Maybe one like Pete Wentz's thorns... He blinked out of it. Cody didn't like him that way.

Cody washed Maxx and ensured no soap got into his wounds, then turned off the water and helped him out. Cody tried to ignore the way that he submit to being dried off.

Cody also tried not to think with his lower half when Maxx leaned over the counter to allow for easy access to the wounds. He forced himself to apply the medication and ignore the completely compliant way Maxx let him move Maxx.

Then he tossed away the rubber glove and picked up the bandages. Maxx put his arms above his head lightly, laughing softly while Cody wrapped him like a mummy. It made something fierce and posessive in Cody surge, and he could not be helped when he carried the thin man to the bed and tucked him in.

Maxx smiled while Cody ensured his comfort, soon succumbing to sleep. Cody followed suite.

* * *

The next evening, they went to watch the concert. Cody had never heard the band before and he rather enjoyed the music.

Maxx was very energetic and he sang along happily. Whenever the singer or bassist spoke, the entire crowd got deathly quiet, listening intently. Maxx seemed very happy to grip Cody's hand during these episodes of quiet. Cody passed it off as assurance that he wasn't going anywhere.

During one of the songs that Cody thought he'd heard at a dance once, the singer stopped in the middle of a line to yell at a fan.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, none of that shit!" The singer hollered, letting his guitar go slack in favor of grabbing the mic and pointing. "Stop!"

The bassist grabbed his own mic and spoke. "Show him the fuck out!"

"Hey, listen." Singer.

"Chill out." Bassist.

"Up and down, not side to side. None of this."

 Cody heard someone yelling "What the hell?"

"Chill out. I'm talking to you, fighting, right now! Dude, stop! There is  _nothing_ at a Fall Out Boy show worth fighting about! Chill out. This is supposed to be all about love and having a good time. Relax."

 After that, they continued the concert. Maxx quickly got back into it, and Cody was amazed by how much he seemed to love the band. Cody decided he liked it too.

After the concert, they got to meet the band. The bassist, who Dan told Cody was called Pete, gave each of them a hug, going from Zach to Dan, skipping Cody, who was visibly uncomfortable, and then hugging Maxx a little too tightly.

Maxx quickly shoved Pete back and gripped his sides, breathing quick, shallow hisses.

"Mr. Danziger, are you okay?" Cody asked softly, but urgently, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Maxx nodded, taking a moment to compose himself, and looked at Pete. All four of the band members looked concerned, and Pete looked a little bit guilty for hurting him.

"I-I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, Pete..." Maxx inhaled and blew out a rush of hot air. "I recently got out of an abusive situation. I was whipped and I'm still healing from that. You didn't know. I could have taken the hug if it weren't for that."

The singer, who Cody had been informed was named Patrick, promptly burt into tears. Patrick started apologizing and trying to give him encouraging words.

"Patrick's a caring guy," Dan whispered to Cody. "He looks after his fans and adopts their struggles as his own. So does Pete."

Maxx started crying too, and they hugged it out for a few minutes. Patrick barely put any pressure on Maxx, but Maxx could feel the hug. Cody went to join the hug, but he changed his mind and instead crossed his arms over his chest.

 The drummer (Andy, apparently) watched Cody and adopted a hard, calculating look. Cody shifted under the look, trying to choose between a nonchalant pose and hiding his chest.

 After they headed back to the car, Zach turned to Cody.

"You freaked out back there. Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine... Just... Been dealing with a few things." Cody smiled and winked at him. "I'll survive. But yeah. Andy's a bit... Intimidating."

"When you first see him, yeah. How'd you like the show?"

"I liked it. Glad we were able to get good spots."

"Maxx's idea. He got us all tickets in at least row 5 for all the shows. He's eccentric but... It's a good trip to bond over."

"Yeah. The guys are great. They seem to care a lot about the fans."

"They do. I think that's a huge contributer to the fact that he still was willing to come along instead of pass the tickets on."

Cody understood that. He slid into the driver's seat- his turn to drive- and waited for everyone to get in and buckle up. Maxx was the last in, acting a little stiff. When he leaned on Cody, he seemed to calm.

When Cody looked in the mirror, Maxx was smiling in his sleep. Cody could see Zach and Dan in the back, also sleeping, and sighed. They all trusted him so much. He stepped on the gas and made sure to avoid potholes.

* * *

The second hotel, Maxx was airing out the wounds by wearing a paper gown for a few hours. Cody felt a tinge of sadness as he watched the poor guy stared out the window.

"If it makes you feel any better, Maxx... It's too hot in this hotel chain's pools anyway."

"Yeah. I bet." Maxx looked at him. "You're all dressed up."

"What? This, no..." It was true. Maxx was exposed to anything Cody could try to pull. Cody, on the other hand, was completely dressed up. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans- which surprisingly didn't fuck too much with his packer- and a white shirt. He also had on underneath a blue tank top, to hide his similarly colored binder, and a jacket. Just to be sure.

"You're kinda strange. You didn't even get upset when I got your outfit soaked yesterday. Or change or take it off." His heart was racing, threatening to burst his binder.

"Uh... Personal preference, I guess."

"Cody. Angel. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I... I'm fine, Mr. Danziger." Cody faught to calm his breathing.

 Maxx stood up and walked over, gently touching his wrist. "Calm down. It's okay. I'm sorry I pushed."

Cody started to slowly calm down, nodding. "Thank you... It's... It's okay."

* * *

Seven concerts passed this way, with music, driving, dressing wounds. Maxx referring to him as Angel.

Seven concerts passed, and Cody let his gay thoughts take over long enough for him to coin a nickname for Maxx.

After the seventh concert, the four of them went to eat before heading to the next location. When Maxx asked him to pass the ketchup, he did.

"Sure thing, Maxxie." And he immediately turned the same shade of red as the blood he had rinsed down the drain every day from Maxx's body.

Maxx looked awed, like he had just met a god. Dan choked on his soda. Zach stared, slack jawed.

"I... I mean... I... I... I..." Cody stammered. "I'll see you in the car."

He stood and ran out. As a rule, nobody mentioned it when they were driving. It was Zach's turn, so Maxx and Cody were in the backseat. Maxx was sneaking awed, loving looks at Cody. Cody was pretending not to notice.

* * *

Concert number 13 also brought something huge. A milestone that Cody hadn't realized he needed to find.

They were again in the front row. By this time, the band had realized they were following them. The boys in the band were cool with it- Pete said that it was nice that they had fans who didn't want to miss a moment of the tour. During a song called, for some reason, I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off, Maxx turned away from the girl next to him and smiled at Cody. Cody looked over just in time to see him grimace and collapse toward him.

What happened next seemed almost to be in slow motion. Cody wrapped his arms around Maxx and caught him as he fell, looking down to check if he was okay. Maxx stumbled forward and looked up. Their lips connected, a complete accident, and for a moment, nothing happened.

Then Maxx pulled Cody closer for a real kiss. One with throat, tongue, and teeth. It seemed like an eternity, a blissful, slow eternity, but Cody finally broke the kiss and pulled Maxx's arm to turn him and check his back.

After that concert, Pete congratulated them on the kiss.

"It looked sweet, and caring. Like you two probably are."

Cody flushed red. "Not a couple. It was an accident."

"I'm sure you're not," Joe- the guitarist- piped up suddenly. "Looked completely accidental to me."

Cody wanted to disappear. He wanted to punch Joe for his sarcasm. He wanted to strangle Pete for stirring the embarrassment of kissing his boss. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to relive that song.

But mostly, he just wanted Maxx.

* * *

"Unfortunately, it's never gonna happen, Maxx," Cody informed the thinner man as he bent over to allow Cody to spread the newest medication- which was sticky and made Maxx whimper whenever it was applied near his neck- on his thighs. "I don't really think you want anyone like me. I'm not what you think I am."

"Angel, I think you're perfect, no matter what you are." Maxx sounded so sure of himself, and for a moment, Cody felt like it would be true. "I just want you. Please?"

"N... No." He cleared his throat. "No."

"Are ya straight?" Maxx asked, standing up and lifting his arms for the bandaging.

"No. I'm pansexual." He stripped off his gloves and started wrapping him up.

"Am I not good enough?"

Cody's heart skipped a beat. "You are good enough. But this should be a business relationship."

Maxx frowned, looking down. "Oh... Okay."

After Cody had him dressed, Maxx curled around a pillow. He held it tight to his chest and leaned against the headboard. He looked like he was having a hard time. Not even a pun.

"Are you okay, Mr. Danziger?" Cody asked, sitting next to him.

"Yes. No. I don't..." He took a deep breath. "I owe you my life."

Cody blinked. "Yes? Go on?"

"They told me that if you hadn't been there, if you hadn't kicked down that door, then I would have died."

"Um. That is a possibility, yes." He looked at him.

"I guess... Maybe it's stupid, but I thought maybe you were my prince charming." Maxx looked at him. "I always wanted one."

"I, uh... Always wanted to be one, Maxxie." He started bouncing his leg, looking into his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes... He looked back down. "But my parents always said I couldn't be Prince Charming. They wanted me to be... A cook. Or an artist."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I can't do either of those, so. Here I am, stealing someone else's happy ever after." He smiled sadly. "Haven't spoken to them in ages. Not since I told them my rank in my martial arts class."

Maxx reached over and held his hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No. It's fine." Cody swallowed, feeling like he was going to cry.  _Real men don't cry, Cody. Cry and you're still..._ "I'll be right back."

He jerked his hand away, then went into the bathroom. He held his head in his hands for a few minutes, then sat staring in the mirror.

When he left the bathroom, Maxx was sleeping peacefully, holding Cody's sweater. Cody couldn't help but gently kiss his temple before laying down in his own bed.

* * *

The next concert went without a hitch. Five seats back, they couldn't speak with the band, but nobody pushed Maxx. Nobody caused anything bad to happen. They had fun. And, the band was flying home to see their kids before going to the next location, so the group was able to stay in the hotel one more night before driving.

 When Cody was in the shower that night, he looked down at his naked body and started crying for the first time since he'd bought his binder. He couldn't afford to take time off to get and recover from top surgery. Not yet.

As he looked over himself, he saw the soft curves at his hips, that had been stopped in their tracks ages ago. He ran his fingers around his muscled frame, feeling the empty pit in his stomach deepen painfully when he didn't have to avoid a cock. He pulled his hand over his flat stomach, knowing that many men and women would love to see or have the washboard-abs he was watching water run over. He also knew that they wouldn't suspect what prevented them when he was 15, what he could be working to care for today.

His hand raised to his chest, and he leaned on the wall and sobbed, feeling the softness of breasts he had never wanted. Of a chest he hated.

Maxx decided to check on him, knowing Cody would hate him but also wanting to check and male sure he was okay. Cody didn't hear him, see him, or sense him at all. However, Maxx saw the layout of Cody's body. He knew instantly that Cody was transgender. And that might have been the reason that he got so defensive about... Many things.

Maxx silently shut the door and opened a group text with Dan and Zach. He didn't reveal Cody, but he did tell them that he knew someone with dysphoria and needed advice.

* * *

A few weeks later, Cody went out to pick up some road food and a new medication. Maxx was sitting on his bed, and he had randomly thought of the deep voice Cody had used that morning. Now he was trying to remember whether Cody had said a few hours or a few minutes, and how long ago he had left, to see if it was worth jacking off.

Soon, however, his pants were too tight for him to just let it go away. He couldn't take a cold shower. And he tried to use that to justify it when he loosened his belt.

He slid out of his pants and boxers, then grabbed the headboard with one hand. He decided to enjoy himself a little, and he expertly opened himself one-handedly. He'd brought his vibrator on a whim, and he dug in his bag to find it.

Yeah. He's man enough to admit he's got one. He turned it on and held it at his entrance, then decided to turn it to the highest setting. He bit his lip, gripped the headboard tightly, and slid it in.

"Ooohhhh," he moaned shakily. It felt so good. He hadn't cum in months. He hadn't had any sort of stimulation. This felt so good. So needed.

He worked it in and out a few times, adjusting the angle and moving his hips some. When it hit his prostate, he let out a small whimper of surprise and his eyes snapped open. He didn't even know they'd been closed. He worked it a few more times and then removed his hand from it, letting it do its job on its own and clutching the headboard with both hands as hard as he could.

The hotel room filled with his small gasps and moans, mingling with the sound of buzzing from the toy.

"Mmnnn... Ohh..." He felt his cock begin to leak and his knees starting to quake. He panted out a string of "Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuuuuccckkkkk..._ " and relaxed his legs, letting them fall to the bed.

His hand found its way down to his member, and he gripped it tightly. He didn't hear Cody walking in. Frankly, he wouldn't have really cared. He started stroking slowly, spreading precum with each touch.

Cody froze when he saw- and heard- Maxx. He couldn't move, couldn't hide, couldn't do anything but watch as Maxx's hand worked quickly around his shaft. He heard Maxx moaning in the most obscene way and put his thumb over his slit, pressing in.

Maxx pretended it was Cody touching him, Cody in control of everything he felt. He moaned out his guard's name and nickname, a string alternating between _Cody, Cody, please,_ and _Angel, oh, Angel_. He whined when the real Cody finally found it in him to move.

Not because he heard Cody, but because he felt Cody.

Cody had grabbed his wrist and pinned his hands together against the headboard, lips smashing into Maxx's. He wrapped his fingers around Maxx and pumped at a much slower, more torturous, sensory pace.

 He broke the kiss and looked down at Maxx, who was looking up at him with wide eyes.

"C-Cody... I didn't know you were here... Ohhh..." He bucked into Cody's hand, only to have Cody pin down his waist.

"Doesn't matter," he growled, in the voice that had caused this. "You were saying my name. That's an invitation, right? To do with you what I want?"

"Oh... Yes... Please, treat me like you want to treat me..."

"Oh, I will." In truth, Cody wanted to rip out the vibrator and pin him down, fuck him hard and quick. But he couldn't without surgery, so instead, he kept his pace torturously slow. "I want to make you beg. I want you to scream my name."

Maxx was blissed out, feeling Cody rub and squeeze and twist his hand, whining already. He whimpered as Cody leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I want to see you absolutely wrecked, Maxxie. I want to see you spread out and oversensitive, hurting and begging for more like the slut you are for me. I want you to be perfect under my hands, and completely compliant. I want you to be mine."

"Cody... Cody please... Angel... Angel, please let me cum... I need to cum..."

Cody smirked and whispered more.

"You'll hold it as long as I want you to. You'll let me keep you on edge for an hour if that's what I want."

Maxx nodded, whimpering but doing his best to hold it like Cody wanted. As it turned out, Cody wanted him to simply agree, because the next words out of his mouth were authorative and final.

"Cum. Now."

Maxx obeyed, spurting all over Cody's hand and his own shirt. Luckily, it was yesterday's shirt and needed washed anyway.

"Good boy. Now let's get you cleaned up."

"Wait... Cody, can I return the favor?"

"No. This was a one time thing."

"Why?"

"Because... I have a secret-"

"I've seen. Your binder. You're trans. And I'm okay with that." Maxx panted. "I love you. I don't care what you were born with. Just that you are you. Because you're perfect, and handsome."

"I ruin everything I touch."

"You're perfect. Please. Just let me return the favor?"

Cody sighed and nodded.

Maxx took off his shirt and undressed Cody, then pushed him down on the bed.

As soon as Maxx's tongue touched Cody's clit, the guard knew everything would be okay.

* * *

 

At the last concert of the tour, Cody and Maxx walked backstage hand in hand.

"Remind me to pay you all later," Patrick grumbled at his bandmates. "How long?"

"Three days." Maxx lay his head on Cody's shoulder.

Andy looked at Cody. "I'm gonna follow him on Twitter. If you hurt him I'll kill you."

Cody laughed. "I'd be quaking in my boots if I had any intentions."


End file.
